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Santa’s smartphone fitness app says his Body Mass Index is bowl full of jelly.
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Contrary to the Night Before Christmas, a scary mouse is stirring.
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Santa doesn't pick his nose, he puts his finger aside his nose.
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A cat says "Not a creature was stirring" and burps because it ate a mouse.
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A giant lizard monster eats Santa and thinks he tastes like a bowl full of jelly.
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A man wants to be popular in his community, so he patronizes local businesses.